Thank you, and goodnight.

Hey, it’s been a while. Sit down over by the fire and let me tell you about what’s really going on.

I started Off Your Shelf when I needed it the most – out of work and unwashed, I had to fill my time somehow.

A lot has happened in the 422 days since Shelfie took his first steps. I’m pleased to say that my unemployment didn’t last very long and that I am, as of 10:33pm on the 28th of July 2014, quite clean.

I’m proud of what we have achieved in our time here. I’m also super grateful to Deputy Holmes for being a part of this whole ‘writing on the internet’ thing. It’s been a blast, H.

It’s been a real pleasure writing for you, whoever’s reading, but it’s time to say farewell. Life is calling and has already left voicemails.

Of course, I can’t leave you without a song. Play it, Frank.

“Up yours, children.”